.... to bring you a view of the real people in the West
who are struggling to survive. And to survive
some of them have to do jobs
that no one in China would do.
But what is life really like for these people?
Are they branded as outcasts and losers?
Or is there a richness to their lives that the news reports don't show?
The Cantonese slang for the indigenous North Americans
is "ghosts." And these days
despite providing us with cheap labour and goods,
they are more in danger of being invisible to us
than ever before. So today
we travel to Toronto, Canada to bring you a very special edition of
"Window on the World."
[babies crying] Well, for one thing
it's shown me the wisdom of the One Child Policy.
[chuckle] For sure!
[babies crying]
We've been asssembling the same model for years.
I think the "Bobby" line first went on sale in 2036 or so?
So we know all the tricks.
One of the ways we economize is by making the food ourselves
instead of buying the cubes. It's kindof risky though, I mean you
get it wrong and the caloric intake isn't exactly right
Uh, let's just say we learned the hard way.
We went to sell them and they told us that half the batch was invalid.
That they wouldn't certify them. Yeah, that nearly bankrupted us.
Um, the certification process
it's... it's pretty particular.
[snicker] Particular... He's the diplomat of the family!
[offscreen] So what did you do with the babies?
Oh, the only thing we could do, really.
Trash the defectives and start pumping out a new batch.
OK, well, for the most part I understand the quality control.
I mean, it's why they fetch such high prices.
This is even by Asian standards.
And it would hurt the brand if you were to release a sickly product.
Or a product that wasn't toilet trained.
OK, honey. This lot's done.
Can you give me a hand with this folding?
Yeah, sure. [Babies screaming]
So, does the crying ever get to you?
Well, there's definitely a hardwired response to it
you have to learn to suppress.
Yeah, well I mean, it's millenia of evolution.
Well, it only took me a few weeks to get over it.
I guess at the end of the day it helps that
you've built up so much resentment.
Yeah, you, uh, you can tap into that.
Although it's just white noise now,
it's like the whine of a buzz saw if you worked at a factory.
Yeah, OK, well, but our neighbours they see it
a little bit differently, though.
They even offered to help pay for sound proofing.
So, I mean, in the next few months we might do that. 'Cause at night
Oh my god - at night Yeah, I mean, OK
They, they can wake you up and it's pretty bad for the sleep.
Pretty bad? Uh, huh, huh
The other night, I just about lost it.
I got up, I went to the workshop and I grabbed the wire snips.
OK, luckily I'd gotten up to go to the bathroom.
And she was just about to snip their vocal cords.
And I would have done it. In my sleep
I was imagining we could just reconnect them when they were older.
Yeah, that-- Which wouldn't have worked.
No. It would have been a complete mess.
He's the sane one. [crying babies]
I'm Anton!I'm Toph.
And we are the Karrento brothers!
You gotta say it too. I'll say "we are"
and then we both say "the Karrento brothers!"
OK. I'm Anton! I'm Toph.
And we are the Karrento brothers!
With both arms. The Karento!
I'm Anton. I'm Toph.
And we are the Karrento brothers!
And then we'll, like, like, jump like starfish.
Like "Waah! Karrento Brothers!"
Impressed yet? Karrento brothers! Karrento!
See what he's using there is called the Claw.
He'll use that to grab the goss. [offscreen] The, the goss?
The goss, you know, the spizz? Nobody really calls it spider silk.
Yeah, Oh man, looks like a good grab! Yeah!
C'mon, open the container, man!
Oh man, we will be drinking water tonight!
Lookit! Yeah man!
Look at that! Oh shit! Woooh!
I haven't seen that much spizz in weeks.
Nice! [laugh] High five! No, the spiz.
Cool. Haven't seen one of these in a while. Yeah.
[offscreen] So, are the spiders still a problem? Or...
No, the infestation only lasted like a couple of years.
Spiders died off ages ago.That's how cold it gets here.
Too cold for giant mutant spiders.
Arachnoids, Anton. There's a name for them.
Yeah, yeah! Arkanoids!
Or as normal people call them, giant mutant spiders.
As pre-schoolers call them, giant mutant spiders.
Whatever, professor, so I didn't go to high school.
Anyway, they were only really a problem for kids.
They couldn't really take down an adult
unless they were, like, in a pack. I could take 'em.
Toph!
Oh, shit. I lost the Claw! I'm holding the Claw.
Oh, good. Phew!
Harry would have been pissed.I would have been pissed!
We would have to buy another one from Harry.
He'd of probably been happy. You're funny when you're pissed.
You get all, like, red in your face,
like, "Anton, you broke the claw again, blah blah blah!"
"You drank all the water! You lost a week's supply of spizz..."
I'm glad you find that shit amusing, Anton.
What do you see? Ah, it's nothing.
Ah, man! See, we've been through there a bunch of times.
So we probably got most of what's there. Oh, careful!
Oh, watch out there's something grabbing you!
Watch out there's something grabbing you! [laugh]
Let's go this way.Let's go down here.
We didn't check down here! We've checked down there three times.
Hey! Can we drink this water?
No, that's runoff from the factories. Awww.. but it looks so delicious!
Yeah! Fuck yeah!
Think mom and dad ever came through here?
Are you kidding? Back then the city was full of spizz.
They'd never need to come out this far.
Aw, it's more fun this way. More challenging.
[offscreen]You were probably too young to remember
when the spiders were first here. I seem to remember--
We weren't here yet Anton. We hadn't moved here yet.
Well, I remember something about a scientist.
Yeah, 'cause we saw the news report. It was the scientist
from the genelab talking about the original outbreak. Down in
Arizona or some shit. Oh, yeah. Scared the hell out of me!
[offscreen] So when did your family immigrate? We came here in the late twenties.
You know, with all the other European refugees.
And they were acrobats, so they got into the silk trade early.
Yeah, some people saw disaster, they saw opportunity!
[offscreen] Did your family face any anti-European sentiment?
Oh, uh, for sure. Mom and Dad got all that racist shit.
You know, dirty carny, go back to Europe.
Get away from us or you'll give us the monkeypox.
It wasn't that bad. You don't remember when
they held you down and spit in your mouth?!
Oh yeah. [offscreen] And, did he have monkeypox?
Of course not, we'd have never been allowed off the boat.
But whatever, they worked
doing the job that was too dangerous for anyone else to do
and eventually we got our citizenship.
Fuckin' shit-heel farmers! Fuck! Fuck!
Let's just, let's just go get some lunch.
Ah, you light it. Light it, man. [airplane]
We should like, take that tree and put it on.
Yeah, cause, that'll work. It'll work. Don't smother it.
I'm not smothering it.You're smothering me.
I hate these stupid eyedrops. They sting, and they don't
sync as long as it says on the bottle.
But I can't do my job without them.
The GlideMat lets me walk around in-world.
It's more expensive than a treadmill, but it lasts longer.
I use a brush. I find the physical proxy
less disorienting when I'm in-world.
So, I need to log in here before I can connect.
[computer windows]Let's see...
You know when you go in-world and signs and stuff are blurred out
for copyright reasons? I'm the guy who does that.
The conversations are great, too.
It's like, straight out of an old movie.
I was like, if you're so particular about who sucks your cock then
maybe stop going to tranny bars? [sigh] But that's Dad for you.
[rewind] I was like, if you're so particular about who sucks
your cock then maybe stop going to tranny bars?
I know, seriously! Chill out!
But that's Dad for you. Yeah, your dad was so boring.
I remember this from when I was a kid.
This is one of the things I like about the job: the nostalgia.
System alert. Your limit of in-world hours has been exceeded.
[humming] Auto-logout initiated.
I gotta to talk to my boss about this.
[computer clicking] [humming]
The walled online access is pretty sweet.
Means I can research products and clients and not worry
about remote attacks or transferable viruses.
I mean, basically, I do work.
It's just not the work they're paying me to do.
[coin] [cash register]
[typing]I make money at this job
by, um, mentioning products, mentioning brands, and, uh,
[computer windows] depending on the person
that I'm name-dropping to, [windows] I can make more money or less money.
I approach people who I can tell they would like to use a certain
product or, kindof fit it in that way. Um, not a direct approach
but sort-of a roundabout approach. I try to build up a rapport first
Um, look for things we have in common, and, um
[offscreen] Drop brand names? Drop brand names.
Do you want a Timbucks?
I love Timbucks![cash register]
I basically look for product opportunities.
You know, I see a girl putting on makeup. There's an opportunity.
See a guy with coffee, it's always a good one.
So I go about it that way, pretty much.
You can say you're not hungry, but do they listen?
Wouldn't know. I'm always hungry.
Seriously? You know, I've been on Slimgirl [cash register dings]
so long I don't really even remember what hunger feels like.
That patch thing? Yeah. Does it work? Oh yeah. You know,
"You'll never eat again" [cash register]207
When someone's putting on makeup, you know they, um, they worry about
how they look, so, you know, I have a good feel for these things.
I swear. It works.
The way these places work, it takes them a few days,
sometimes a week before they catch on.
And, until then, it's pretty much ideal hunting ground.
I'm just "the new girl".And I can play that part well.
You'd probably play "the new girl" once a week.
Lot's of offices, lots of jobs. My agency's really good.
Really good at placement.So, yeah.
Oh, OK.I know it's complicated.
It is complicated. I'm glad you said that.
It just takes a bit of getting used to. In fact
if you weren't busy tonight, I would love to show you
the lowdown on some of the ins and outs. Maybe over drinks?
Oh, yeah, sure. It'd have to be an early night, but, um,
Well that's... better than no night?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. OK. OK. Alright.
Well, thank you. Yeah, thank you. OK. OK.
Oh, Tom? Oh, no. That's pretty common.
It's the big "who's going to date the new girl" thing. Yeah.
[offscreen] Pretty common? Pretty common, but it makes my job easier. Right?
Why? Well, I can talk about beer,
[background chatter, chill music] I can talk about anything
and they'll listen.I don't think I need to spell it out.
Right? They're guys, they don't change. So
[chatter] doin' his job, but he's better than this. He's better than--
You still workin'? [sigh]
I'm just trying to make sense of all these forms!
I just popped three Sharpeners [cash register]
and they're still in some other language.
I know. Aren't they ridiculous? [giggle]
Oh! Well well well. I see you also enjoy a light and refreshing
grog of enduring excellence. [cash register]
To Cheng Sao. [cash register, clink]
Luckily, sarcasm doesn't invalidate the impressions.
Otherwise, you sound like a robot and the client's on to you.
There's lot's of natural segues into product mentions.
Stuff on the menu. Waitresses with their branding on their uniforms.
Ads in the washrooms you can just bring up naturally.
The time's just gotten away from me, and I have to go,
but it's been lovely, and I'll see you...
What do you mean you have to? See you tomorrow!
You didn't even finish your Cheng! Mm. Mm mmm.
A woman after my own heart. How 'bout you finish that for me?
Ah, I mean, who knows where that mouth has been, right?
I'm gonna just go. Thanks. Maybe we could--
[offscreen] So, do you, do you come here quite a bit?
Oh yeah. Staff knows to go super light on the alcohol.
And lets me stash a change of clothes.
So I can say goodbye to Tom, and hello to Avinash. It's convenient.
So, who's Avinash? Another client?
Yep. A little higher up on the food chain than old Tom.
[offscreen] What does Karen mean when she calls you "the sane one"?
Um, I don't know, OK. I'm usually the one who says,
you know "hey, wait a second here, let's think about this."
'Cause you know, she's the, uh, you know,
the brilliant, hot-headed one, and I'm more of the, kind like,
you know, the plodding stable one. No, she's usually got a point though.
Like, these babies are realistic to a completely unnecessary degree.
You know, like why can't they be
engineered so their poop doesn't stink?
[offscreen] Don't you have control of that?
No. Uh, they just, they send us the kits and we assemble them,
and if we mod the motherboards at all, they'd be invalid.
You know, God forbid some kid in China
has a toy whose, you know, shit doesn't stink.
[clip] I don't know about brilliant. I mean,
he's right, we do make a good team.
Do you ever feel like you're wasting your talent?
I don't know. I mean, I'm very aware that we are lucky to
have any work in robotics, living in the West. I mean,
maybe if we could afford to move to the East, it would make a difference.
But then, I hear of people who make it to Beijing
and their degrees aren't worth anything.
They end up fixing ovens and toasters.
Anyway, we don't plan on making babies forever.
[high-pitched drilling]That's not the plan.
[offscreen]What is the plan? You should ask Gary about that.
Uh, yeah, I mean it's an arrangement we have. She starts 'em off,
I finish 'em off, and it seems to works better that way.
So she does the initial assembly? Yeah, but I mean, it's not just
put part 'a' into slot 'b'. I mean, OK, I've got a degree
in robotics as well, but I mean, I don't have her focus.
You know, she gets into the zone and she can have you know, like,
a half-dozen babies up and crawling in a couple hours,
and for me it would take all day. So, I mean, the stuff I do is
important as well. Um, we've got shipping tomorrow,
so that means we've got the company rep coming in
and, you know, if they're not clean then they're not up to code.
And if they're not up to code, we don't eat. Yeah.
Karen hates shipping week.
[doorbell] Hey! I was pretty relieved
it was Chao. He's polite and we'd had him before. With a new certifier
you're never really sure what they're gonna look for.
[crying]OK, this one's fine.
Please box this one and that one. Sure.
[synthetic crying]That one.
That one's been making noise since I got here.
Uh, yeah, that model, it tends to leak a little bit.
Uh, that might be the problem. I'll just--
You want to check it?[baby crying]
No. This one's defective. The rest are fine.
Wanna give me a hand getting them loaded?
Yeah, uh, sure.[crying]
[offscreen] How is it? Pretty fresh.
I mean, you know how gamey squirrel meat can get.
He's probably never eaten a squirrel before, Anton.
You don't have squirrels in China? [offscreen] I'm a predatarian, actually.
Really. So you eat, like, lions and sharks and that?
Hey I heard the best bear burgers are exported from Canada.
[offscreen] Yeah, that's true. Yeah? Ca! Na! Da!
Anton! Oh. Hey! Nice! Can I eat em?
No, we gotta cook 'em, man. Aw, they look good now!
Yeah, you remember what happened last time?
Whoah, I got so sick, Ithrew up for like an hour.
Yeah, and who had to help you? I cleaned it up, mostly.
He was so pissed. Did you eat all the squirrel?
You want me to climb this one? Is there stuff up there?
I don't know. I can't see the top, man.
Hold it by the end of the cloth. I am.
What do you see, man? I think I see some!
Oh dude! Oh dude! Oh dude! [laughs]
Oh, dude, it's like, it's a lot! This isn't a lot, man.
It's something! Exactly, it's something.
Real good spotting there Anton.
Feel super safe. Yeah, man.
See, way back when, I wouldn't even consider that a successful grab.
But now it's... It's all we've got.
See, to make our catches just look a little bit thicker, a little bit bigger
we find regular spider web and you just kinda, you know
you fill'er up. It's kinda, you know
it's regular spider web you can touch it.
I feel bad about lying to Harry Yeah, I mean, but
there's just nothing There's nothing else left.
Gotta eat. It's pretty though.
I don't mind saying this on the camera, I mean we know
Harry doesn't have a TV, won't ever see this.
[police sirens] [noises] Stop it!
Toph, some times I think you're no fun.
Some times I think you're too much fun.
Damn right! Ah, hey Harry!
[industrial noises] Ah, man. Good hall today!
We got some good stuff, man. We had to work real hard.
You should have seen this guy climbing like a spider monkey!
[laughter] Great, let's go.
Alright, good. OK.
What you workin on? Aw, some copper pipe.
Can we have some of that? No.
What would we use with copper pipes?
I don't know, We could throw it at ducks.
What's with you and killin' ducks?
I don't know, it's what I'm on to today. It's good.
Ah, Harry's all right. We've sold to him since the beginning.
He's got all the connections. I sure don't know any architects.
What am I gonna do, call people at random in Singapore or whatever,
"Hey! Wanna buy some rare building material?" No.
Alright. Let's do it.
See, I told you Harry. Good, good haul today.
See, it's pretty good today! Alright!
[beeping scale] Better than yesterday.
What's the rate? 538, same as always.
Same robbery as always!
Do you want it in online time or water?
Ha. Just give us the water, Harry.
OK. Here you go. Thanks.
By now. By now. Water!
Guess that's us for the day! [offscreen] So when he offered you online time--
Oh, he was just joking. Harry knows we don't go online, right?
Yeah, our whole family got screwed over when the Cloud was repossessed.
I mean, all our data was there. All of it - network, legal, authenticators.
Our parents had to start from scratch
And I guess we've been strictly local ever since.
That's right. Lo! Cal! Boys! Fuck the Landos! 381
Easy there, Anton. I mean just remember who's gonna be watching this thing.
[groan] That was a long day. Long day!
Harry seemed in a good mood today.
I like Harry when he's smiling. [train]
No. C'maaaaan!
Absolutely not.
But think about the documentary how good that would be:
"The Karrento Brothers Take on the Tower!" We might even get our own show!
"The Karrento Brothers Die!" Huh? That sound good?
"Karrento Brothers Smashed to the Pavement!"
Actually... No!
God, it sounds awful. Go to sleep. [dog barks]
It's actually not the dangerous spots you have to worry about.
For those ones, you're focused, you know.
Collecting from the underside of a bridge.
Hanging upside down or what not.
It's the one's that look easy like this one.
Lose your focus for a second, and BAM!, sidewalk jam.
I don't see any, man. You sure?
Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm.
You don't want the gloves? [scoff] For amateurs!
[laughs] Bag it man. Yeah!
I thought there might be some leftovers there. When I first
started training with Dad, we used to go there all the time.
Back then, we were pulling bags of spizz, so we didn't sweat the small
stuff. Toph was too young to come with us then, so for him it's
just more "big brother magic." Luckily for us I got a good memory.
I got a brain as sticky as a spiderweb!
Still trying to figure out how I knew about that spizz?
I'm going to the market, OK? I'm going to trade for some food.
Do not drink all the water. [chuckles]
[dishes clinking] [restaurant patrons]
Can you just wait here while I talk to Mr. Li?
Seems like you're having a trouble hitting your quotas.
It's just that the system kicks me out after eight hours.
I thought that might be the case. You're a good worker, Oscar.
You get the job done. Thanks Mr. Li.
But it's the bureaucrats in Shanghai, they want to do this labour equality crap
across the board. Our people are trying to explain how it's different here. How
westerners don't mind working twelve to fourteen hours a day
so long as they've got a job. Exactly.
I really shouldn't do this, but...
[hum of windows moving] [beeps]
OK, I've raised your security rating, so that you can login multiple times.
Just use different logins, and you should be fine.
Really?! That's great, Thank you Mr. Li.
Mr. Li understands.
I'm kind of slow, but it's just 'cause I want to do a good job.
Some people think this job isn't that great, but
I actually think it's an honour to get to work on the Wayback Machine.
When it opens to the public, people will get to watch any moment of any time
in the last twenty years, just as good as if they were really there!
For something that started out as simple mapping application, it's amazing.
Sometimes it feels like I'm walking around in a living museum.
[ominous sounds] [computer beeps]
[panting] Yeah, yeah,
the class two Lando virus. The Doodleface one.
[panting] No, I wasn't infected. I'm pretty sure.
Yes sir, no. Thank you Mr. Li.
[beep] It's time to visit the clinic.
Do you find this shocking? The way we live?
A little. I've seen pictures. We've shot in Zurich before,
and it's not as bad as that.
You can always count on Western Europe to make us look good.
[music] [chatting]
I met him and his friends at a mentorship initiative.
I'm their charity case. Nice people.
And loaded. Let me put it this way they fly to Toronto twice a year.
That's Kwan and her protege, Jill McKenzie. She's a switchee.
Kwan's offered to pay for an eye-job for me, too, but
Avinash talked her out of it. He's got a Caucasian fetish.
I think the market prices are looking pretty stable for this year.
They are. I'm actually hoping they might go down a little bit.
Oh, I see, I've just a bit confused because United Mutual Funds
[cash register] seemed to have higher returns in the short term.
They do, but they're very volatile. Oh, OK.
Thank you. [giggles]
like it's a danger or somehow feel like you can't go back to where you come from
Ah, we already have a waitress. Oooh, I can tell you're the Kingsbro man
[cash register] at this table. Want to buy me a Cheng Sao? [cash register]
You wanna go away?Want a prescription for that PMS, honey?
Do you want me to call the manager? Will you Chillax with some ColaX?
[cash register] Wow, one of those creepy product placement people.
Spammer. I'm amazed they still can't shut down the Nigerian spam cartel.
How? They have a military.
Are you ready to go? Sure.
Um, I'm going to use the washroom first. OK.
Do you want to bring the car around and I'll meet you up front?
I'll do that. OK.
[taser charging] [static]
You people are so rude. You need to lighten up with Menthol--
[high-pitched wail] Now listen carefully, small time.
Stay away from my people. You're queering the deal.
I bought this in Quebec. Do you know what that means?
That it... it has a coronary setting?
[taser charging] Very good. Now if I see you
around here again, I'll get to try it out.
But it's not fair Now you're getting it.
So, he sent you home? Yeah. His wife called. He's on a short leash.
Is that disappointing? No. It's ideal, really.
Sex has diminishing returns. How so?
There's less banter, so less chances for segues.
Products are limited: condom brands, lubricant,
sex toy brands maybe, but not that often with the older men.
You know, there's more drama. Guilt. Attachment. Betrayal.
[phone beep] Hi yourself, Victor
I'm actually with my mom, right now. Yeah, I think I've told you
she's at Bayview-Crest Hospital [cash register]
oh, that's sweet that you thought of me, but she's taken a turn
yeah, for sure. No, no, the staff at
Bayview-Crest are amazing, [cash register]
she just wants a familiar face around. OK, then, you too!
Nothing like a dying mother to take the wind out of a booty call.
[offscreen] So you mentioned a hospital brand. You get paid for that, I assume.
Yep. And that stuff about the amazing staff, it's one of
their core messages, so that also pays.
Actually, that last mention of Bayview-Crest put me in the top
three this month. Victor makes a lot of money, so even phone
impressions pull in a lot. I might get a bonus. Thanks Mom!
[offscreen] What about your parents? Your mom know what you do? Nope.
[offscreen] What do you think they'd think of what you do?
What do you want to hear? Rough childhood?
Daddy was farmer before the bottom dropped out of the gold market
and then mommy was a whore? [offscreen] You just, uh..
No, no. You're paying me for this,
so you might as well get your money's worth.
What do you want me to say? What will really choke up the mainlanders?
[offscreen] We want your real life. My parents aren't relevant to my real life.
Change the subject.
[offscreen] OK. So, why'd you get the driver to drop you off there?
Well, obviously I'd rather my clients not have access to my real address.
[offscreen] I mean, is that how you see these guys? Are these men clients?
Aren't they just suckers?
Well, if I do my job right, and they never know,
it doesn't matter now, does it? [taser charging]
[offscreen] You bought that taser in Quebec? Yep.
[offscreen] Does it really have a coronary setting on it? Ah... yep.
[offscreen] Today in the washroom, do you have incidents like that quite a bit?
As often as I need to.
[offscreen] What do you mean as often as you need to? Why do you need to do that?
A girl like that thinks she's smart. Pretty face and a tittie billboard
can make you enough money to pay for your clothes and your phone service, maybe.
But, um, she'll never be able to make a living from it,
and she's fucking it up for those of us that do.
[offscreen] Why wouldn't she be able to make a living off it?
You need to have a bit of finesse. A believable motive.
Any Easterner has a girl like that show him attention? He'll know something's up.
Or his friends will if he's too stupid.
Even a local boy doesn't buy it for long after he hits it.
Not that I'm stupid enough to mess with the locals.
Okay, can you get the fuck out?
[laser] Oh, hey, guess she's got the lasers online.
Your wife works on battlebots? Yeah.
Hey, um, would you wanna take a look? Uh, I'm running late as it is.
OK, maybe next time. It's really amazing what she--
All military robots are done from the mainland office. I don't even know who --
No, that's fine. You know, forget I mentioned it.
[offscreen] Why do you hate shipping day so much, Karen?
I just hate seeing them in the boxes.
Until then I don't have to think about them like that.
It just seems so wrong wrong that we're wasting our time making them,
when we could be making unstoppable killing machines.
I mean, instead we're making stupid toys for stupid rich kids.
OK, they're gone! [sigh] [baby cries]
Why is there a? Let's get a drink first.
Just give me a second.
What'll happen to the defective baby?
I mean, there's a market for refurbished babies,
but you don't get that much and it's not technically legal
[baby crying] So Karen'll probably just salvage what she can for her projects.
[digitized screaming][horrible warbling]
Karen said I should ask you about your plan.
Um, yeah. This is a setback.
The original plan was that, well, we have a bit of money coming in. From Mumbai.
My sister's a nanny there and she's been sending us some money back
and so we were thinking that between that and what we were bringing in ourselves,
maybe in five or ten years we could afford a plane ticket to go to
plane ticket to go to the big robotics conference in Hong Kong
and, you know, pitch some designs.
So, the ultimate goal is to design your own battlebots.
Yeah, well,
making any robots that don't shit and piss themselves would be fine, to start.
It's such an exciting time for the industry.
I just want to get in the game. Even 'Splashers, I mean, everyone
just thought they were a flash in the pan before the African Division. Right.
All that power in a single core processor.
Lethal, elegant, reasonably priced.
So maybe we'll see you in Asia in five years or so?
Mmm Hmm. RobotiCon 2045 or die, right Gary?
Yeah, well, yeah. Five, ten years.
Closer to ten.
So you guys are grow enough to eat and have some left over to trade?
Yeah, we got a big patch down by the Humber,
You should come down, we can always use help around harvest.
Sweep! Sattelite sweep in one minute. One minute and counting.
Why's everyone packing up? I thought bartering was legal here.
Um. Yeah. Three vendors constitute a market, and those are banned.
Hey, um, what were you talking to Anton about before I left?
Satellite sweep in ten seconds!
Uh, well, he was just telling me how good his memory was.
Tell you it's as sticky as a spider web?
Yeah, that's something our father used to say, but more about how stubborn he is.
I mean, once an idea gets in his head, no matter how bad it is
This documentary, for instance.
Hey, uh, where's Toph?
Ah, he's probably out getting supplies for our big climb tomorrow.
Because tomorrow, the Karrento Brothers Take on the Tower!
The tower? What.. what tower?
Duh! The Tower!
Probably, like, the biggest source of uncollected spizz in like,
probably, the world!
and I was just reading that uh, where is it,
Ah, here! That the giant spider saliva
made the concrete unusually soft, um, which makes it easier to scale.
It's as much mine as it is yours!
But I guess you didn't burn it after all.
Liar! [sniffle]
Please. No.
Please? No.
You want to climb the tower. It's a good idea.
Please? No.
The tower. The tower.
OK, so, um, so we're postponing the tower assault for a while. For ever.
But, we've got an amazing climb for you today anyways.
We've wanted to do this for, like, years. [offscreen] What stopped you?
A nuclear power plant, for one.
There was always some other goss deposit somewhere that was easier pickings.
But not anymore.
Once we get the Tower spizz we'll be able to retire.
Yeah, just like Mom and Dad retired, right?
See, our parents had this great tower assault plan too.
It all figured out in that stupid book of theirs. You tell him that?
But about half way up the wind picks up.
The wind picks up, and there goes Mom,
yanks Dad down with her. Early retirement.
Can't account for the weather. Even Harry said you can't account for the weather.
They laid in the rubble for two days before we were able to get anyone to help us move them.
OK. OK.
Look, I'm gonna need you to hold on to this really tight, OK?
Maybe you're right. It's too dangerous.
You don't know how to swim. This is it!
OK, this is my own This is our only option.
Look, just don't go near the edge, and hold on tight, OK.
OK. Don't worry Toph, I've got you.
You get to see the Karrento Brothers in action doing what we do best--
[rope snaps] Toph.
Toph? Toph!
Toph!
He went over! Can't see anything!
Toph!
Toph where are you? Toph!
Toph!
So are you are you worried? Not too much.
They're a nuisance class virus, but they're transferable.
I've heard that out of world it's just like a bad cold.
They're ready for you. [windows moving]
[typing] [windows moving]
Well, you're in the clear for the Doodleface executable 9.
I'm more concerned about your risk of over-exposure here.
I've been going in longer, it's just that I'm slow
because I want to do a good job.
Well, how many hours are you in-world before you start feeling dizzy?
Seven or eight hours?
You are using the dampeners.
Oh yeah. Of course. [windows moving]
Because you are bleeding internally.
Oh. It doesn't feel as bad as last time.
Maybe the ones I have are running low on power?
So, how was that? I don't like that doctor.
What did he give you there? What do you got there?
You guys probably have better medicine. These are neuromagnets.
Keeps your chi stable, prevents nausea, bloody noses.
They're required for the job, but they're pricey.
I used them when Mom was alive, but these days I just go magless.
Isn't that dangerous?
OK, I give you half. [cash register]
[offscreen] So have you ever considered learning Mandarin, maybe getting a better job?
My mom taught me a few words. She was taking Mandarin lessons.
[offscreen] Did she plan to move to Asia? Mom? Mom wouldn't move around the block!
She was hoping she would get a job at a call centre or as a telemarketer.
A bit more money. She also liked it.
[offscreen] You seem to have been pretty close to your mother. Is that true?
[offscreen] When did she die? About a year go.
[offscreen] How have things changed for you since then?
Well, last two years I've been working at this job.
In the beginning it was great. Say and act however I wanted.
But then after mom died it's been kind of loney.
It just feels like, like I'm in a tunnel that just goes on and on.
Serina.
Sorry, Tom, I haven't had my coffee yet.
My Timbucks, I mean. [cash register]
[typing] [windows moving]
[shrill sound] Huh. That was fast.
Hey, there, Serina isn't it? Yeah.
Mr. Wilson's asked to see me, should I be worried?
Oh. Um. Yeah.
It isn't good. He's a busy man.
[typing] Um, Mr. Wilson? Please have a seat.
[windows moving] The new girl, right?
I am, yes, and I'm really happy to be here.
Not any more. I'm terminating your position as of today. Your
productivity graph is as flat as a pancake.
It's been two days, sir, I'm just ramping up.
Getting the feel of the place. Tom's been showing me the ropes.
Tom should be firing you now instead of me firing you right now.
But he's told me he took you out for drinks the other night, and, it's a COI.
You're totally right, my productivity has been really--
I know I'm right.
Why are you still here?
My mom's sick.
And the truth is, I've been useless here days because
I've been at Bayview-Crest all night [cash register].
I mean, they've got her on Phenupalsol, Quininalonsol, Rebuitin [cash register]
They're all great painkillers, but they're not helping.
And now you've just lost your job.
Honey, it's sad story. It really is.
But do we have to make it even more sad by calling security right now?
Um... no.
Are you upset?
No, I'm trying to decide where I should go for my early lunch.
He really wasn't very polite, was he? Really?
I thought he was funny, actually.
I mean, you gotta admire a guy who's still rocking the bodymods at his age.
And he's smart too. Caught me early on.
Way smarter than the clueless drones that work for him.
So what do you do now? My people will get me
a job somewhere else. They own half the temp agencies in the city.
"Your people"? The Nigerian Spam Cartel?
Yeah, They're my spam brokers. They handle shit like that for me.
You ever see yourself getting out of this line of work? Trying to go legit?
Fuck no. This is way more interesting than an office job.
Pays better too.
I mean, maybe I could see myself doing what Wilson does. But...
they'd never give me the...
Give you what? They're never going to let you get up in this, are they?
It's all just a game.
It's a bullshit fixed game.
And I'd rather be a player than be played.
You believe that?
What fucking difference does it make?
Amazing. Just amazing. They have such resilience and spirit.
It's true. We can really learn a lot from these people.
They're so different from each other as well.
Now that we've gotten a glimpse into these lives, I know I'm not
alone in wanting to know where are they now?
Especially Anton, with the horrible accident with his brother.
Ah, before we get to that, there is one last piece of footage I'd like to show.
No. No more delays.
Right after the interviews with them, we thought we should get them together
to meet each other. Since they were in a similar situation, we thought that maybe together they could
come up with some ideas on how to achieve something better with their lives.
OK, this sounds interesting.
I'm glad you approve. Proceed!
Yeah, honestly, who doesn't grow up wanting to make robots!
When we used to go out looking for bike parts sometimes we'd find robot
parts and my brother Toph said one day we'd have enough for a whole robot. But...
But, how can you guys be on this show?
Well, OK, it's pretty stressful, and repetitive.
And, it's not really making robots, more just assembling someone else's robots.
What do you do?
Freelance promotions.
As in get a lot of work from Nigeria freelance?
[phone beep] Listen Ronald, Mom's really sick.
I don't think any night this week will work out.
I'll be at BayviewCrest [cash register] more often than I'll be home.
Do you think you could talk to your "clients" somewhere else?
That's too bad about her Mom.
You mentioned your contract is up?
Yeah, the metatagging's next, but you need a history degree for that.
I'm going to have to find something else.
Still, it's cool that you got to check it out...
Yeah. It was great. ...before anything's censored or privatized, eh?
Entirely uncut. Like, after I'm done
they're gonna bring in a new wave of people to privatize the sensitive data.
Like, the boobies?
Yeah, yeah, some of that.
But more they're concerned with financial data and, like, passwords and stuff.
When they originally launched service there was a lot of fraud on the mainland.
This one time me and Toph were working on this bridge, right?
And we could totally see these ladies sunbathing in the nude!
We could fully see their...
Oh boy, oh boy. That a first for you, homespun?
No. It's like, the hundredth.
Leave him alone.
This gig doesn't pay enough to ignore dumbassery.
She's getting paid?!
Anyway, so, are there like a million security protocols with your job?
I mean, we've had jobs working on designs for bots
that have required blood samples, DNA scrambling, the whole nine.
They usually locked it down pretty tight, especially for non-mainlanders.
But, uh, like, long story short, I have higher access.
So, what is it, now you can change the past?
Like, like, not like that.
I can sign in multiple operators, um, do unlimited time jumps...
No kidding. So, did you go back and watch your prom, or something?
Not really, like, I'm more interested in the history aspect of it
than like, my personal life,
I try not to think about that kind of stuff.
There must be something you want to see while you still have free access?
I would love to....
Gary and I have this long-standing--
well, it's not an argument, really, it's just -- Oh boy.
We met at this party and he says
I talked to him first, and I'm like, no, you came up to me!
No no no. She hit on me first. Believe it or not...
Well, I don't suppose you could... do anything?
Like, I've been spending a lot of time doing long shifts lately
and the doctors are saying I have to cut down my in-world time.
Yeah, OK, but no, we wouldn't want to, you know,
endanger your health or anything. It's just an idea.
I've, like,
I could have enough beer in my system that it'll probably minimize the effects.
I feel strange about it. We hardly know each other.
No, you guys deserve to see the first time you met.
Why should only rich people get access?
Man's got a point.
Can I come too?
Sure!
Well, shall we?
Hey, we're going back in time. Do you wanna come?
Sure. I'm getting paid by the hour.
You should be able to call up the chronometer on your overlay.
Well, not to be rude or anything, but I think we'll make
the most of the time we have here. Yeah, thanks very much, Oscar.
Well, uh, nice to have met you all.
Whoa!
They like, totally disappeared.
Neat, huh? Man, they left in a hurry.
They wanted to check out their first date.
Oh, you think they're gonna watch themselves, you know, do it?
Probably not on the first date. It'll be more romantic stuff.
At least, that's how a lot of people on the mainland use it anyway.
Check out the moments they want to relive.
Or the ones they totally regret. To see if they could have done it differently.
That's true.
Hey guys, I'm gonna take off. There's something I've gotta check out, OK?
Guess he realized there were naked ladies to peep on.
Hey Toph, you getting hungry man?
Yeah, we'll eat after this. I been thinking about those sandwiches all day man.
Oh my god. Babe alert! What?
Anton, you're not going to believe this. What is it? Is it spizz?
No, there's a couple of ladies sunbathing on that roof over there.
What, ladies? Are they, are they pretty?
Yeah. They're not wearing any clothes, man!
No! Yeah, come up here.
I don't know. Anton, come on. What's wrong?
Are you blushing? No!
Oh, man! Alright.
There's not really naked ladies over there, right?
No man, I was just joking. I knew it.
Let's go eat those sandwiches.
I knew it! Boobies!
Four of them! He wasn't joking, there are boobies.
Look! One, two, three, four boobies!
It looks so different with all these people.
And all these units are occupied. Nothing's boarded up.
Reminds me of a Bollywood movie.
What are you looking at?
I forgot I had pixelated this store already.
There was a toy I got when I was a kid here.
I'm trying to remember when I got it. I think it was for my seventh birthday.
Well, couldn't you just watch your seventh birthday and see it?
I guess so. But we were in the suburbs then.
Hmm. Fancy.
No, this was before de-amalgamation,
years before the checkpoints.
Still, I'd be into seeing it.
I mean, I've only seen, soap operas and stuff like that set there.
It'll be a long walk.
Wow, this, uh, this doesn't look like Bloor at all.
It's not. Yeah, OK, but wasn't the party
that we met at off Bloor? We're not going to the party.
We're not? OK, so then you're willing to admit you hit on me?
Listen. So this stupid documentary thing was supposed to be good
publicity to get us closer to RobotiCon, right? Yeah.
But actually, we've lost money. We got our first defective in, what? Six batches?
Yeah but... I'm not trying to point fingers.
I'm just saying, when I heard that that spammer got paid to do it and we lost money?
I think we need to take advantage of the situation here to be fair to us --
Right. -- 'cause I can't take more than five years.
We gotta get back to where we were before we started this.
To get us back on the right track.
Right, 'cause your plan is good. It is.
Now I have a plan to get us back to your plan.
This is the street.
You know, I think it's so great the way you
visit your mom so often. I tried to visit my mom every night,
but sometimes I missed visiting hours.
I couldn't finish work fast enough.
I'm slow.
Yeah, um, that stuff about my mom...
Oh, I think you're bleeding.
Here, have a GentleTissue. [cash register]
Oh man, you make so little there's no point spamming you, is there?
OK, now you don't have to get that close. You don't want to lose him. Right.
You, know, I can totally tell you've never tailed anyone before.
Tailed anyone? OK, Mr. Private Eye.
I know this is kind of personal but the documentary guy...
he always asked me about my mom, and you've been through it too.
You know what it's like. You know when you can tell someone's a good person?
How? No, I mean...
This is it. That's my house.
Hmm. It's kind of puny.
That's funny.
It's a lot bigger than I remember.
I'm gonna go check out that house down the block.
The big one? It's more my style.
OK.
I'm ready for my surprise!
It's the bridge.
C'mon!
Don't do it Toph. Don't...
Don't do it.
I knew it!
Toph, I knew you'd never slip!
You're alive!
You're alive?
Man, this place is so big.
Too big for one person on their own.
I wasn't crying. I -- OK.
I've been in here too long. We've got to get you some help.
Can you stand? Yeah...
Is this where a rich person would live?
His ATM balance is OK by our standards but not like I-live-in-a-mansion rich.
Messages.
[beep] "Hey Dad, it's Sherry..." Aw, he's got kids.
"Just wanted to let you know, I talked to Mom, and she was saying--"
Delete all. See? He's a bastard.
Sherry'll never see a dime. Check it out! Look at the keyboard.
It's a qwerty. Those things were so gross.
Remember that ad where all the germs and shit was crawling out of the keyboard?
Yeah, but if he's going to log in to his bank it'll be easy to see him do it.
Alright, well, now we wait.
No, now we fast-forward.
Wait a sec. Does that look like bank info to you?
Still good.
Let's see how much liquid assets he has.
Oh shit! Oh shit what?
Looks like we're out of the diaper changing business, Gary.
OK, OK.
I get it. You're teasing us.
I'm not going to get mad.
But what happened? I wasn't able to get a follow-up with Gary and Karen.
So instead I decided to come up with something different.
Hi Karen. Welcome!
Thanks for having me on. Have a seat!
So. When last we saw you and Clyde -- I mean Gary --
you had just broken into a rich man's bank account.
What happened next, Bonnie -- I mean, Karen?
Well, we were pretty excited, as you saw.
And so we logged out and went home, and started talking about which
conferences we'd be go to first, and how we'd be eating at the
moving restaurant in Hanoi, you know the one?
Oh yes, we featured it on our Vietnam show.
I never thought I'd like predatarian food, but, yum.
I saw that one. I love Window on the World, by the way.
It's such a thrill to be here. Are any of the other people here?
I felt so bad when I saw that last bit about Oscar.
And Anton. The poor boy.
Would you like to see what happened to him? We did a follow up.
Yeah.
OK, let's see it.
That's not bad. What's the rate?
538. Same as it always is. Doesn't change, you know.
Yeah, I guess I was down to my last
bottle of water when I came down to
Harry's. He said I could run the counter, and since I pretty much
know everything there is to know about the biz, it worked out.
Did you ever confront your brother Toph -- I'd really rather not talk about him.
No, you know what, I will talk about him.
Who cares what he thinks. You know, my so-called brother Christopher came by a few weeks ago
after your show aired. He claimed he'd only done it to scare me away from the Tower.
He's working as a farmer now. A shit-heel farmer!
He brought by a bunch of fruits and vegetables.
As if I'd take his bribe. [crunching sound]
What did you do with them? Whattaya think? I traded them for explosives.
So you know how my stupid brother's always going on about how
dangerous it was to climb the tower?
Well, I figured. If we can't go to the tower, we'll bring the tower to us.
See, by my projections, this [explosion sound]
should bring the sweet, sweet spizz just like a few blocks from here.
You're planning to blow it up?
Don't worry, we'll let you know so you can film it.
But isn't that illegal?
Maybe in Sri Lanka, or wherever it is you're from, but this...
is the wild wild west! [gunshots]
OK. First thing. Explosives?
We checked that. Basically, it was just clay. Harmless.
Oh. Phew! I'd hate for any more of our
subjects to have turned to a life of crime!
I'd feel like we had something to do with it.
No offence, dear.
And I guess you didn't end up being charged.
Oh no, we were. The charge was attempted e-fraud, second degree.
I guess you got yourself a great lawyer, though. If you're here.
Well, because of the damning in-world recordings, we were
advised to plead guilty. We were sentenced to five to ten years in
Kingston Penitentiary, which is where I am now.
Um, I'm confused. How can you be there and...
Well, thanks to some very generous sponsorship from Yomoto Industries,
I was able upload schematics and have them manufacture a proxy of
myself to appear on the show. [click] [whirr] [click]
That's just marvelous!
Phenomenal craftsmanship. I'm sure you have a very bright future ahead of you.
Once you get out of jail.
If not in battlebots, obviously you can do some amazing proxybots.
No no no no. No more made-to-order bullshit for me. I'll be sticking to battlebots.
Ok, well... Probably stealth battlebots like this one.
Like this? I, I've never heard of a stealth battlebot.
It's my own line. It's the "Prepare To Be Annihilated" brand.
Of course, I couldn't build in any overt weaponry
but I've overclocked my core for enhanced speed and wired myself up a decent Death Touch.
Oh my God. My God.
Please don't kill us.
No, no, no. This was just a product demo. I hope you don't mind.
I really do appreciate the opportunity.
Well then, in that case, let's run the... last clip of...
Serina and... Anyways, if we're done here,
I'm going to kill your cameraman. Just to create a bit of buzz for my new line.
[zap] Oh Jeez! Oh my God!
Karen! Cut the camera! Karen! Karen! [sob]
343.
I suppose it was a risky thing to do.
She would say it's a stupid thing to do.
But I can't say I totally regret it, though.
So, with all that stuff, I mean you probably wouldn't do it again, would you?
No, like, I mean, when I originally agreed to do this
I guess I just needed to connect with people.
Then, all that stuff happened, and I think they were going to fire me.
Did they actually find out that you'd let people in-world?
Kind of, but then Serina's people got in touch with them.
Thanks.
Yeah. Class action labour suit changed their tune.
Yeah, they actually moved me from a sub-sub-contract to a sub-contract.
Shorter hours, better pay.
Much better pay. It's worth talking to him now. Damn, this Yummer's is so creamy.
I'm serious. If I need to go out for groceries, I'll just talk to him
about some mutual fund packages or something.
She does! It's usually pretty informative, too.
And does that bother you?
No, no. Like, I'm used to looking at brands and logos all day anyway, so...
though I suddenly have a craving for that Yummer's myself.
I'm a little confused. Did you invite him to move in here with you?
Um, well, he still gets dizzy spells occasionally
so it's good to have someone else around.
Besides, his place was a total dump. I hated staying over there.
Not that I was, like, staying over there, every night or anything,
So you seem like sort of an unlikely couple. Were you just tired of being alone?
I think we're done here.